As words are hitting this fresh blank page, it is a mere two and a half weeks until the day I meet the much anticipated age of three-zero, expectedly triggering rather considerable amounts of reflection.
For most, myself included, 2016 has admittedly not been the best year. Today those reflective thoughts find me circling many things. On one hand, my successes, my means of creativity, my further experimentation and self-education of all things tea and sewing and other passionate pastimes. On the other, memories of people who have passed on their own tragic terms, reminders of failure, and thoughts of health setbacks my body constantly fluctuates with and often succumbs to.
In the past, those heavier thoughts have sometimes been all too easy to dwell on and to allow their weight to pull me down. Thankfully, one thing I have learned to implement more effectively this year is to allow myself to be more positive and accepting, letting those negative thoughts pass. Due to the state of my physical health I have more (sometimes unwanted) time for my thoughts than most, and so I have no choice but to learn to live with my own racing consciousness without distraction and to love my own company. This feat in itself, has me feeling that this year is not one that has been wasted.
These personal parameters have almost unwittingly directed me to endure an intensive, albeit mostly positive personal journey this year. Though I have been given many great opportunities of growth, writing with a focus on my health and other troubling life obstacles is something that no longer gives me satisfaction. I have become decidedly more introspective around these particular matters, and as a result am considering closing my rather mixed personal blog – perhaps in exchange for a fresh new one where I feel more compelled to only talk about things that I love. I imagine being mostly motivated to share excited words entailing creative clothing endeavours and some personal tea reviews and exploration, as I feel there are buckets of knowledge inside me and years of ongoing passion within these areas that is simply craving to be shared with others who will listen.
Supposing anyone who is reading this is also aware of my Before 30 post I made at the beginning of the year, you would know that through 2016 I have been working towards goals I had hoped to achieve before my next birthday. This list was created with large expectations for improvement of my physical health. Those closer to me will know this hasn’t quite been the case, however perseverance has given me some great successes to celebrate, and a few still to look forward to in the near future. Below notes which achievements were checked off my list, and which are still pending.
- See a Cirque du Soleil performance – Went to the Quidam show in February.
- Find out if I am eligible to donate blood while taking my medication and if possible, give blood. Unfortunately I was told I am not able to donate due to my medication.
- Make a piece of furniture – made a low table.
- Go snorkeling at Goat Island. Went just this week!
- Pay off credit card. Yes, I paid it off, only having to quickly max it out again. It still counts, right!?
- Go stargazing, find star I bought for my manthing last year in the sky.
- Write an anonymous pay-it-forward style note, leave 5 copies in various places to be found.
- Live 3 consecutive days in silence (and technology free) – originally, going to a 10 day silent retreat to learn Vipassana was my objective, but unfortunately restrictions due to health have left me choosing to adjust this one to something achievable.
- Swear off technology for at least a week – I’ve become too attached, it was definitely time for a technology detox.
- Officially register my seamstress and design business. Have been working towards opening my own little Etsy store, just a few more things before it’s live, and this should be before my birthday!!! Will be updating this list once my shop is open.
- Exhibit some of my own creative works – at this stage it is undecided whether it will be fashion works, art or a combination of the two, but I’m making progress on both.
- Investigate, trial and complete a corset with waist training that aids my back issues and improves my posture, while being comfortable enough to sleep in. Still a work in progress due to a couple of setbacks with my industrial plain sewer. On the plus side, I learned a great deal more about my machine.
- Buy a car. Other monetary commitments have set back the expected time frame for this, will be getting one in 2017.
- Travel the South Island of New Zealand. Planning a big trip for 2018!
So although not everything was a success just yet, I feel like I’ve gained so much knowledge and awareness of myself, my values, my little place in the world and those who I choose to share it with. What has been achieved given my personal parameters through the year is so incredibly satisfying, knowing for sure that the journey through into next year will gain even more momentum.